IGNORANGE IS BLISS
by Splendidscandinavianskilineski
Summary: This is a story about Zane and Lloyd. As a note, THIS story does not include Lloyd dying or people becoming cannibals, though Lloyd does get injured. It can be categorized a tragedy, a drama, and, in some ways, horror, as well as friendship and the other two genres listed. It's rated a larger k for high meaness levels.
1. Chapter 1

**HI GUYS!**

It's Ski again, I haven't been on this website because I was trying to figure out how to complain about a planned parenthood advertisement that was posted on it...but in the meantime...

**This story was actually started before the final battle, after the episode, "The Green Ninja." Therefore, things will sound a little off. Just keep it in your mind that this is the past.**

**Everyone is out out of character in some points. This is to escalate their cruelty. **

By the way, I can honestly say that none of them would act this mean, this is truly evil. Do not try this at home. This is wrong.

This is just to show how nice Zane is...and...maybe for laughs...

**IGNORANGE IS BLISS**

**Part 1:**

Zane held the little plant in his 'hands'. He smiled as the sunlight glowed through the leaves and let out a pretty light green color. He patted it's small root system, and gently scooped some of the rich, moist dirt from the soil. He calculated the ideal size for the hole so the little plant could have enough space to grow, and he softly slipped it into place. He settled the dirt all around, and arranged it's small structure so it would receive the best amount of sun. He sprinkled water lightly around with a miniature watering can about three times the size of my hand. Not that you know how big my hand is, so, never mind.

Zane let out a happy sigh. It was a beautiful, sunny day. He closed his eyes, with a feeling of complete content. A cool breeze blew by, and the grass rustled around him. He felt tired, and he felt like he wanted to lie down in the peace of everything around him. So, he checked his battery. It was at 67%, which explained why he wanted to sleep. He could use a recharge.

He got up and walked towards the Dojo. It was around noon, but all the rest of the ninja were all asleep.

He briefly remember the night before:

(_They had all stayed up till two against Sensei's advice, watching TV. Actually, let me rephrase that. They had stayed up against Sensei's orders. He had told them to go to bed around nine, but Kai hadinsisted that "around nine", really meant, "around night". Cole mentioned that there was this really addicting TV series he wanted to show them, and Jay ordered pizza. Lloyd had fallen asleep around twelve. So thethree of them continued the party without him, until Nya marched out of her quarters and barked the following:_

_"Do you guys have __**any idea **__what __**time **__it is?"_

_Kai shook his head. "Shhhhhh, this is super important." _

_"__What is?" she asked._

_**"SHHHHHH!" **__said Kai and Cole._

_"__What is?" she whispered, bending closer to Jay, who was sitting on the floor with a bowl of popcorn on his lap. _

_"__It's the season finale, and we are at the climax." Jay whispered back. _

_"__The finale of what?" Nya asked._

_"__It this show where there's this guy, and he gets stuck back in time, and he makes it so that he doesn't get married accidentally, which prevents the existence of his son who's the one that can get him back to where he came from, so he's trying to get him and his wife to fall in love, but he can't because he turns his past self evil, which also was a mistake, and now he's turning evil too." Jay told her._

_"__Isn't that just Back to the Future with a twist?" Nya asked._

_"__Huh?" said Jay._

_"__Never mind." said Nya. "You guys shouldn't be up this late, you have to be awake enough to train Lloyd as the Green Ninja." _

_"__Whatever you say, my sweet baboo." Jay said without thinking about what she was saying as well as himself. He had dark circles under his eyes._

_"__What?" said Nya. _

_Jay, Kai, and Cole all gasped at once. _

_"__SHE'S DEAD?" shouted Cole, "HOW COULD THEY DO THAT?" _

_"__Now he'll never go back!" Kai whispered in disbelief. _

_Nya groaned. She picked up Lloyd and dragged him into his GreenNinja bed. Then she came back out into the room and stood in front of the TV. _

_"__NYA!" shrilled all three of them. (Zane had gone to bed at nine, when Sensei had said to, because he had that conversation recorded in his database, and therefore knew exactly what had been said by the teacher. He had told the others he could play aloud what had been communicated from his system but they told him it was defective.)_

_"__Move!" said Cole._

_"__It's __**twelve o'clock**__!" she shouted_

_"__Only just a little more!" begged Kai._

_Nya growled and went to bed. They stayed up till two and then went to bed. Hence, why they were sleeping in.)_

After this flash-back, Zane decided to stop his mind from lingering in the past.

Zane walked into the kitchen and decided he was hungry, so he started making breakfast. The smell of pancakes, bacon, and eggs filled the room.

Lloyd walked in dragging his feet. He looked very sleepy. (Like me.)

Zane smiled. "Good morning, Lloyd. Are you planning to have your friends come over or just stay here and keep it simple?"

_Like I have any friends..._the little boy thought. Lloyd shrugged. He crawled onto a chair and curled up into a ball.

"I had a weird dream." he said.

"Oh." said Zane. "What was it?"

"It was really scary and really strange." Lloyd said. He looked at Zane, and then shuttered.

"Is something wrong?" asked Zane.

"In my dream, you were my brother...Isn't that awful?" Lloyd yawned.

"I thought...we _were_...brothers..." Zane tried to hide the hurt in his voice.

"That's just a figure of speech, stupid." Lloyd grabbed a bowl of cereal. After dumping in some milk, he started munching on his food.

"Mhhhmm." said Lloyd. "We need to buy more of this." he said pointing to his cereal.

"Oh..." said Zane, starring at the food he had cooked. "I will try not to act stupid anymore." he resolved.

"It was really terrible, too," Lloyd mumbled, "Because my dad was a robot, with a bunch of creepy wires and every else you have..."

"I see." said Zane, sadly.

Just then, Cole, Kai, and Jay all walked in, talking sleepily about their show. They were super tired and regretted staying up so late. They gave Lloyd the proper greetings and continued jabbering.

"Hey Zane," Jay barked, "How come you didn't tell us to go to bed last night—we stayed up till two in the morning just because you didn't have the decency to remind us when Sensei wanted us in bed!"

"_**Yeah!**_" Kai barked.

"You know, for a machine you make a terrible alarm clock!" Cole added, "Look how long we slept in!"

Zane stood there for a moment, and then decided he would have to work on these issues of his.

All three of the ninja sat down next to Lloyd, grabbing the food Zane hadn't finished and began devouring it. The entire time they were complaining about how yucky it tasted.

"Jeez Zane! You know I _hate _it when you put vegetables in the eggs!" Jay moaned.

"It's not the veggies," Kai interrupted, "My bacon tastes weird!" He normally complained a lot about vegetables, too, but today he had a different issue with his breakfast.

"There's not enough food here!" Cole barked, "Where's the pan_cake_s?"

Zane sat down quietly at the table. There was no food left for him.

Lloyd slobbered milk onto his apron. Zane was annoyed, but decided to ignore this, even though it had gotten into his circuits. He figured he wanted to be nice to Lloyd today, plus, he deserved it for making such a terrible breakfast.

He was happy to find one small pancake that hadn't been touched. He put it on his freshly washed plate, and gently placed the proper amount of syrup over it. He proceeded to rubbed what little butter they had left onto his light breakfast. He said a little prayer and cut his pancake into four sections.

"You gonna eat that?" Cole asked, staring intently at his meal.

Zane politely picked up a quarter of his breakfast and placed it on Cole's plate. Cole picked it up with his "hand" and shoved it in his mouth. He stood up and walked out of the kitchen.

The other three, Jay, Kai, and Lloyd, after observing what had just transpired, took the other three sections with a gruff, "Thanks."

All three of them got up and left, following Cole, who had left to go buy the fortune cookies, cake, and other _necessary_ supplies.

Zane sat alone at the table, thinking of what a nice breakfast it had been.

Sensei walked into the kitchen, followed by Nya.

"Where's Lloyd?" Nya asked. She was about to ask more, but was cut off.

"How come nobody ever boils my tea water?" Wu growled.

"I'm sorry." Zane apologized.

"It's alright, Zane." Sensei answered, "You didn't know..."

"But I did-" Zane interrupted, "I have several recording of you asking it of us in my database—It seems I have...forgotten to do it." Zane lowered his head.

"Thanks for nothing." said Sensei. "And why did you let the rest of the team stay up all night—Nya says they stayed up till _twelve_ _AM_!" he walked out of the kitchen to go yell at them.

Zane sighed. Nya walked over and made a coffee.

"I wouldn't worry about it, Zane," said Nya on her way out, "**'CAUSE I DIDN'T DO IT!**" she laughed and walked out of the room.

Zane nodded.

Dareth walked in.

"Hey Zane, I was wondering who you think the best ninja is, Kai, Cole, or Jay?"

"What about Sensei and I?" Zane asked.

"No, not you, either Kai, Cole, or Jay. I can't decide and it's giving me a major headache..."

"Perhaps, they are all equal..." Zane answered sadly.

"Yeah, okay, I wasn't sure..." he trailed off and walked out of the room.

Zane sat down again. Dr. Julian, (before he died, _obviously_) walked in and out of the room not even noticing him.

(He was randomly at the Dojo. Actually, at the time, Zane didn't even _know_ who he was, and he was supposed to still be stranded on that island but let's ignore that detail.)

In the meantime, Cole, Jay, Lloyd, and Kai were all on there way to buy everything. They were very low on stock.

They were riding in there vehicles and were racing.

I remain unsure of whether or not the have possession of the golden weapons and this time, so I have no-idea what vehicles they were riding, and don't really care.

"Last one to the store is a rotten egg!" Cole shouted.

"Ugggh...don't even make me think about eggs..." Jay answered.

Lloyd was bored. On today of all days! Since he was still a kid at the time, he had to ride with one of the older ninja. Lloyd decided to push his driver off and take over.

Poor Kai.

He tumbled to the ground and Lloyd took over the steering-wheel.

Lloyd proceeded to smash into the others. The result was basically like having a truck fall on him.

By the time they had finished yelling at Lloyd for crashing them straight through Zane's garden, (which was a few blocks from the Dojo in a public...park...gardening center...) Kai received a call from Nya that there was a problem with Lord Garmadon.

_[By the way, please understand that the skirmish that will proceed involving the ninja and the Dark Lord obviously is not part of the TV show but rather just a side thing that happened during the time when the ninja were fighting the evil brother of Wu.]_

"Lord Garmadon?" Kai asked.

"Where is he?" Jay asked.

"He's taken over Jamanakai Village with the Skeleton Army!" Nya shouted on her communicator.

"Why is he working with them?" Kai barked.

"Who knows!" Jay shook his head.

"The Serpentine are fighting him now*...so he hired an army!" she explained.

"But the Skeleton Army doesn't like him either!" Jay butted in.

"Hey," answered Nya, "Nobody likes snakes..."

"Where's Zane?" Cole asked, "Does he think he can just get away with sitting this one out?"

"Oh...Zane...I forgot about him..." Kai replied.

"I've already sent Zane on his way..." Nya told them. "But what are you going to do about..." she trailed off, staring at Lloyd.

"I wanna come!" Lloyd pleaded with them.

"Dude," Cole responded, "You almost just killed us—plus, your kind of beat up!"

"Please, please, please!" Lloyd begged, "I'm sorry I crashed everyone! Plus it's my special day!"

Everyone stood and groaned.

Kai wasn't thrilled about taking Lloyd anywhere near his father. Mostly because he didn't want a the final showdown between the Green Ninja and his father occurring prematurely.

Lloyd, however, was elated.

"YIPPPPPEEEEEEEE!" he shouted. It was the happiest he had been all morning. He was going to see his dad.

"Lloyd, it's not like were going to..." Cole trailed off.

"You don't know my father!" Lloyd told him. "He's actually nice...sometimes!" he said in a softer tone.

"Maybe to _you_..." Kai trailed off.

Zane caught up with them and all five made there way to the captured area.


	2. Chapter 2

**IGNORANGE IS BLISS**

**Part2:**

By the time they made it to Jamanakai Village there were skeleton army people everywhere. Lord Garmadon was already constructing a fortress. There was also something hidden beneath a gigantic veil/cloth.

"Well, if it isn't the ninja!" he spotted them.

"You bet its us!" Jay retorted. "Who else is so skilled in the art of speed, stealth, and-"

"Technically-" Zane interrupted him,"We have not mastered everything, we still need to improve on-"

"Zane!" he barked.

"For instance, if we had been "masters" of the art of _stealth_, we wouldn't have been spotted!"

"Zane's right..." Cole added. "Plus, if we were _that _stealthy we wouldn't even be having this conversation with him-"

"_**SILENCE!**_" Garmadon exploded.

(Not literally.)

"Dad!" Lloyd shouted.

Father and son's eye met.

"SON!" Lord Garmadon smiled. He ran down from his fortress. He tried to run over and pick Lloyd up to hug him, but all four of the others intervened.

"STEP AWAY FROM THE GREEN NINJA!" Cole commanded. "I have a...I have a..."

He was going to say something scary that he wasn't afraid to use, but then he sneezed.

"A...booger." Jay finished.

"WHY MUST YOU PETTY NINJA ALWAYS INTERFERE WITH MY PLANS!" Garmadon changed the subject.

"Because your plans are evil!" Jay responded.

"Can I go see my dad? PLEASE?" Lloyd begged.

"NO WAY!" Kai answered. "Do you _want _to start the...ending...battle thing?"

"Once it's over will I get to be with him?" Lloyd asked. "I mean the ending...battle thing..."

"YOUR SUPPOSED TO KILL EACHOTH-"

He stared at Lloyd's baby face and puppy-dog eyes.

"I mean...I...don't know..."

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Garmadon shouted sadly, "Skeleton Army, CHARGE!"

It was interesting, the chaos that followed. Somehow, Garmadon and his army triumphed against the five ninja. Perhaps it was that they were out numbered, or that there was technically only four, but somehow, the ninja ended up captured. Normally, this would not happen, I would think...but that's just how it happened.

Garmadon was quite happy with his victory. He had the ninja right were he wanted them. Lloyd was separated from the rest, and brought before the Dark Lord.

They stood before each other for only a moment.

The ninja waited, hoping they had prepared Lloyd for what was to follow.

But what followed was not the "ending...battle...thing." or the Final Battle, the proper name for it. It was far more shocking. It...was...

_**A **__**HUG**__**!**_

_**DUH DUH DUH!**_

After they had resurrected from dying of shock, the ninja picked up their jaws from the ground and blinked.

"Now that your here with me," Garmadon smiled, "I want to celebrate the anniversary of the best day in my life!"

"Wow...you'd think this would be more about Lloyd..." Jay mumbled.

"MY SON'S BIRTHDAY!" Garmadon proclaimed. He picked Lloyd up and let him ride piggy-back.

"Pull this lever and it will reveal your birthday surprise!"

Lloyd pulled hard. Underneath the covers was a brand new tree house. Lloyd was the happiest boy in the world. He hugged his dad again told him he loved him.

Garmadon replied the same.

"Can I play in it?" Lloyd asked, excitedly.

"What else is a tree house for?" Garmadon asked, grinning.

Lloyd let out a happy, "BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" and ran towards the entrance.

"Wait!" he stopped, starring at his father, "What about my friends? Will you let them go, too?"

"Why let let them go? Then we won't have to be separated and you won't have to train and learn to fight me!" Garmadon told him.

"Well...it's not that I _like_ training, but...they're my friends...I want them to celebrate and be with me..."

"You can always walk over to their cage..." Garmadon suggested.

"THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH!" Sensei Wu emerged.

He was a true master of stealth.

"BROTHER!" Garmadon growled. "You've come to take Lloyd away from me!"

"Of course I have!" Sensei answered. "This is no place for a child!"

"You mean with his father on his birthday?" Garmadon countered.

"No! I mean with all these skeletons! Who would let their child walk around amid a bunch of living dead skeletons? Why do you even work with these people—they don't have any brains!"

He meant that in the literal sense.

"You also must remember," Wu continued, "We are enemies, brother!"

"Do we have to fight all the time—even on my birthday?" Lloyd said in a small voice. He was the master ofthe baby face and the art of the puppy-dog eye.

Wu and Garmadon looked at each other in silence.

"Lloyd, this is war—between good and evil—wrong and right!" Kai explained from his cage.

"Well, I suppose, if you would be kind enough to join our little party, I would let your pathetic ninja go free..." Garmadon bargained.

"Garmadon! We...are not supposed to...we're adversaries, we're..._**what would father think**_?!"

"Do you want your ninja or not? I want Lloyd to be happy, and I'll do what ever it takes!"

"This is a trap, isn't it?" Sensei asked.

"This is flexibility." his brother answered, shrugging. "You honestly thinkI would _**plan**_ inviting **_you_** to a party?"

Wu shook his head, agreeing whole-heartedly. Garmadon would never engineer such a situation on purpose.

"What do I have to do?"

"You and your petty ninja must participate in the birthday party in whatever way Lloyd wishes...then they will all be set free..."

"What about Lloyd? He must train with the others...he must fight you, it is inevitable. He is...the chosen one."

An awkward silence followed. Lloyd clung to his father, tightly.

Garmadon looked down at the small boy who wanted so desperately to stay with him.

His eyebrows lowered. Hatred filled his being. This was _all Wu's fault_.

"HAVE IT YOUR WAY!" he barked, trying not to sound like he was hurt, "BUT FOR THE PRESENT...WE PARTY!"

The skeletons broke out in cheers. Kai, Cole, Zane and Jay were released. It was an awkward party, to say the least, with Lloyd being the only one that enjoyed himself to the fullest. However, it was not completely ruined by such high levels of strange, because everyone pushed past the oddness of it all to some extent, and everyone had a moment that was enjoyable at least once. Perhaps later I will add a chapter on the festivities that occurred during the affair.

The most awkward part was really the ending, in which Lloyd had to say goodbye and Garmadon and his armies were defeated and pushed out of the village. Lloyd of course was very upset, not just because the party had ended so...violently...but also that his present from his father had been demolished.

As they walked home in silence the birthday boy was on the verge of tears. Nya met them half-way to the Dojo, and offered them a ride in...whatever she had been driving at the time.

They were about a few blocks from the Dojo when they came across Zane's demolished garden.

They mutter their apologies and told him it had been Lloyd fault, but he didn't hear. It slowly walked over to the remnant of the little plant, which had been smushed into the ground.

He picked up it's shriveled form and straightened it's brown leaf, which had been green only hours before. It fell off.

Zane blinked. He again scooped out an opening, and stood the plant upright. He didn't need a shovel, the dirt was freshly plowed.

The ninja watched him in silence, half sorry, half bored. Zane was so weird.

As for the rest of his garden, Zane decided to fix it later. It was getting dark. They made their way home, and Lloyd crashed onto his bed, muttering what a terrible day it had been.

The rest of the gang also went to bed, everyone but Zane. He stayed awake, listening to the silence.

"Zane?" Lloyd asked through the dark. Though he said it quietly, it was clear enough to be heard over Cole's snoring.

"Yes?" Zane opened his eyes.

"Why aren't you sleeping like everyone else...is it because Cole's bunk is right above you? You can switch with me...I'm not sleepy at all."

"No." Zane replied. "If Cole was being to loud I would just put him on mute."

"Oh."

"Why are you not fatigued?" Zane inquired. Lloyd had been running around the entire day. The boy hesitated.

"I'm sad." Lloyd answered. His lower lip quivered. "I miss my dad."

"I do not understand," Zane replied, "Today you had an opportunity to associate with Lord Gamadon and-"

"I know! I know!" Lloyd rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't understand."

"_Stupid robot_..." he thought to himself.

"I am sorry you are grieved." Zane responded.

Lloyd laid still. Zane was sorry he was sad. It meant something to the child.

"Hey Zane," Lloyd said quietly, "I'm sorry about your plant—I mean, if it _dies_ now and doesn't get to grow, you know."

"It might still grow," Zane answered, "It has a 50% chance of survival, it might one day become a tree."

"A tree?" Lloyd asked.

"Yes," Zane answered, "A peach tree. Since this city is so sunny I decided to see if I could cultivate peach trees. Then I can produce home-made peach cobbler, and not have to just use peaches for the store. I will need a lot of trees, though... "

"What's a "cobbler" taste like?"

"Very delightful." Zane replied. "Delicious, deletable, and delightful."

"Well, sorry I wrecked your cobbler idea..." Lloyd apologized again. "I guess we both had kind of a bad day..."

"Actually," Zane answered, "I enjoyed today very much."

"Why? Today was **awful**! It was a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day! I had a rotten birthday, and your peach tree got ruined!"

"If you can find one thing in a day that was good, it makes it a good day." Zane explained.

"Well...?" Lloyd asked, "What happened that was good today?"

They sat in silence, thinking of what good could have possibly happened.

"**I KNOW!"** Zane exclaimed loudly. In the bed next to him, Kai startled and shifted position.

"What? What was good today? The party? The candy?" Lloyd wondered.

"Cake?" Cole muttered on the top bunk, tiredly, before falling back to sleep.

"No!" Zane answered. "It was sunny all day! Even now at night, it's perfect!"

Lloyd moaned and went to sleep. Zane smiled, completely content. He was completely happy with the knowledge that today had been a wonderful day.

The rain poured down over the Dojo as Zane drifted happily off to sleep...

_**THE END!**_

**_Notes to the reader:_ **

*This is because The Serpentine had kidnapped Lloyd, and he was still mad at them for that.

1. This story has nothing to do with Valentine's Day, Jay, Nya, or Cole.

2. It sucks to have a birthday around Valentine's Day because nobody cares about your birthday...(Speaking from experience)

3. I know someone with a birthday on Valentine's Day.

4. If at any point you were confused about about either this story or Valentine's Day, then I apologize. This story didn't really have a plot when I wrote it so the time period is messed up.

5. Obviously this isn't really as funny as the last story, but that mostly is because their wasn't any plot.

Thanks for reading and praying for my illness—they still don't know what's wrong with me! :P

God Bless! & Happy Valentine's Day!

-Splendidscadinavianskylineski

ℜεaḓ αη∂ ℝ℮vḯ℮ẘ!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!


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